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Description of  The Antipope (Brentford series)

Includes 7 books in the series 01. The Antipope: 'Outside the sun shines. Buses rumble towards Ealing Broadway and I'm expected to do battle with the powers of darkness. It all seems a little unfair...' You could say it all started with the red-eyed tramp with the slimy fingers who put the wind up Neville, the part-time barman, something rotten. Or when Archroy's wife swapped his trusty Morris Minor for five magic beans while he was out at the rubber factory. On the other hand, you could say it all started a lot earlier. Like 450 years ago, when Borgias walked the earth. Pooley and Omally, stars of the Brentford Laboiur Exchange and the Flying Swan, want nothing to do with it, especially if there's a Yankee and a pint of Large in the offing. Pope Alexander VI, last of the Borgias, has other ideas... 02. The Brentford Triangle: 'Omally groaned. "It is the end of mankind as we know it. I should never have got up so early today" and all over Brentford electrical appliances were beginning to fail...' Could it be that Pooley and Omally, whilst engaged on a round of allotment golf, mistook laser-operated gravitational landing beams for the malignant work of Brentford Council? Does the Captain Laser Alien Attack machine in the bar of the Swan possess more sinister force than its magnetic appeal for youths with green hair? Is Brentford the first base in an alien onslaught on planet Earth? 03. East of Ealing: 'Ahead, where once had been only bombsite land, the Lateinos & Romiith building rose above Brentford. Within its cruel and jagged shadow, magnolias wilted in their window boxes and synthetic Gold Top became doorstep cheese...' Something sinister is happening east of Ealing. The prophecies of The Book of Revelation are being fulfilled. Lateinos & Romiith, a vast financial network, is changing all the rules with a plan to bar-code every living punter and dispense with old-fashioned money. A diabolical scheme, which would not only end civilisation as we know it, but seriously interfere with drinking habits at the Flying Swan. Can Armageddon, Apocalypse and other inconveniences of the modern age be stopped by the humble likes of Pooley and Omally, even with the help of Professor Slocombe and the time-warped Sherlock Holmes of Baker Street ... ? 04. The Sprouts of Wrath: At last, the real truth behind the London Olympics. The local council, in an act of public-spiritedness, and a hefty back-hander, has agreed to let Brentford host the next Olympic Games. The plans are drawn up and money is changing hands. Norman has a few ideas of his own to see that the home team achieves victory and there is even some talk about the locals’ favourite pub, The Flying Swan, getting a make-over. But, once more dark and primordial forces are stirring in London’s most curious borough, evil is abroad and who is there to help out in a pressing time of need? How about Mr Jim Pooley and Mr John Omally? Yes indeed, this could be the twosome’s greatest challenge to date, for not only must they match what wits they have against a terrifying opponent, they must also in something so awful, so mind-bendingly ghastly that they dare hardly speak its name. REGULAR EMPLOYMENT!!!! 05. The Brentford Chain-Store Massacre: Doctor Stephen Malone is cloning Jesus Christ from the blood on the Turin Shroud. And not just a single Jesus, he’s cloning six, so that each of the world’s major religions can have one for themselves. It has to be the very worst idea of the twentieth century. And what is more, he is doing it in Brentford! Mind you, the plucky Brentonians do have a lot of other things on their minds at the moment. Such as putting their plans to hold the Millennial celebrations two years early into action. It is something to do with a tradition, or an old charter, or something. John Omally and Jim Pooley are once more in the thick of it. As are Norman the corner-shop keeper, Professor Slocombe, Neville the part time barman and all the stars of books previous. And they are all going to be drawn into the adventure of a lifetime. 06. Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls: It has always been John Omally's secret ambition to become a rock star. In his youth he mastered air guitar and wardrobe-mirror posing, but he lacked that certain something. Talent. But at last an opportunity has arisen for John to get into 'The Industry'. A band called Gandhi's Hairdryer are looking for a manager, so all John has to do is persuade them that he is the new Brian Epstein. It should be a piece of cake. But - and there's always a but - there is something rather odd about this band. Something other-worldly. It might be the lead singer, whose voice has the power to heal. Might she be an angel, perhaps? Or could she be the Devil in disguise? Because, after all, the Devil does have all the best tunes. And this is Brentford. 07. Knees Up Mother Earth: Developers are planning to destroy Brentford's beloved football grounds. Something must be done, and the lads of The Flying Swan, Brentforda€™s celebrated drinking house, take up the challenge. Norman hasA recently discovered a Victorian computer that holds the secrets of the super-technology of a bygone age, and Archroy, Brentford's lone explorer, has just returned from his seventh voyage, bringing with him the fabled Golden Fleece. Surely, with these stalwarts working for the cause, the field is as good as saved. But this is Brentford, and the ancient forces of evil—Old Testament horrors, beasties from the bottomless pit, that sort of evil—are stirring.